Feeling Good About Your Partners' Relationships: Compersion in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships

Multidimensional Measurement of Attitudes Toward Consensual Non-Monogamy

Despite increased interest in consensual non-monogamy (CNM), significant stigma remains against CNM. Consequently, there is a need for scales to assess attitudes toward CNM. In response to this need we developed the Multidimensional Attitudes toward CNM Scale (MACS). Items were developed in consultation with content experts and data were collected from two samples at two different Canadian Universities. Fit indices of exploratory (Sample A) and confirmatory (Sample B) factor analysis suggested a 16-item scale with three underlying factors: CNM is Dysfunctional, CNM is Immoral, and CNM is Healthy and Satisfying. Validity analyses, conducted using the combined sample (n = 806; 79% women; 67% heterosexual), demonstrated that participants with higher MACS total scores (i.e. more negative attitudes) were less likely to have ever been involved in a CNM relationship and were more likely to report monogamy as their ideal relationship style. Higher MACS scores were also associated with more negative attitudes toward bisexuality and toward women, and higher scores on measures of homophobia and jealousy. In contrast, individuals with higher scores on the CNM is Healthy subscale tended to score higher on measures of empathy. The MACS demonstrates strong psychometric properties and can assist in better understanding attitudes toward CNM relationships in research and clinical settings.

Exploring Compersion: A Study on Polish Consensually Non-Monogamous Individuals and Adaptation of the COMPERSe Questionnaire

Compersion is a positive emotion experienced in relation to one's partner's relationship(s) with other partner(s). Experiencing it is highly desired in communities practicing consensual non-monogamy (CNM), especially polyamory. This article presents the results of a study on compersion on Polish CNM individuals. The main goal of the study was to adapt to the Polish-speaking population the COMPERSe (Classifying Our Metamour/Partner Emotional Response Scale; Flicker et al., 2021), the first standardized quantitative scale designed to measure compersion. The analyses were performed on data obtained from 211 individuals in CNM relationships and on a comparative group of 169 people in monogamous relationships. The results of the confirmatory factor analyses suggested that the three-factor model of the original COMPERSe version did not fit well, leading to further revisions that resulted in a 7-item, two-factor solution with excellent fit, excellent internal consistency, strong divergent and convergent validity, and excellent test-retest stability. The CNM individuals were found to have higher scores on compersion and cognitive empathy and were also less jealous than the monogamous participants. Furthermore, polyamorous individuals experienced more compersion and less aversion to partner's autonomy than people in open relationships. It was also revealed that compersion indirectly predicted relationship satisfaction by decreasing jealousy and that compersion was, in turn, predicted by cognitive empathy. However, when polyamorous and open relationships were analyzed separately, compersion predicted relationship satisfaction directly, but only in polyamorous relationships; meanwhile, in open relationships, satisfaction was directly predicted by cognitive empathy.

Symbiosexual Attraction: An Integrated Mixed-Methods Study

A recent review of cultural and academic discourse presented evidence that some people experience attraction to two (or more) people in a preexisting relationship. This phenomenon, symbiosexuality, is understudied in the field of sexuality. Lack of recognition and validation for this attraction, including in the polyamorous community, may be negatively impacting those who experience symbiosexual attraction. I conducted an integrated mixed-methods analysis of secondary data from the 2023 The Pleasure Study to learn more about symbiosexual attraction. Findings from this study support the hypothesis that people experience symbiosexual attraction, which they describe as an attraction to the energy, multidimensionality, and power shared between people in relationships. Further, findings from this study indicate that a diverse group of people experience symbiosexual attraction and, while unanticipated, symbiosexual attraction can be a strong, frequent, and/or pervasive experience. These findings push the boundaries of the concepts of desire and sexual orientation in sexuality studies and challenge the ongoing invisibility and invalidation of and stigma and discrimination against such attractions, within both the polyamorous community and our broader mononormative culture.

Perceived Impacts of Partners' Other Relationships on Oneself in Consensual Nonmonogamy

Existing research suggests a number of both costs and benefits to oneself that can occur as a result of partners' other relationships in consensual nonmonogamy (CNM), but such costs and benefits have not previously been systematically cataloged. Using reflexive thematic analysis, we present themes derived from semi-structured interviews with 51 individuals (63% white, 55% nonbinary/genderqueer/non-cisgendered, and 77% LGBQ) who have practiced CNM, describing the costs and benefits to themselves that they perceive as a result of their partners' other relationships. Themes describing costs include experiencing difficult feelings (e.g., jealousy), having less with a partner (e.g., less of a partner's time) than one would like, difficulties or conflict within one's own relationship, and difficulties or conflict as a result of interactions between metamours (individuals who share a partner). Themes describing benefits include experiencing positive feelings (e.g., compersion), benefiting from a partner getting needs met in other relationships, strengthening of or pleasurable interactions within one's own relationship, enjoyable or beneficial relationships or interactions between metamours, and personal growth as a result of sharing partners with others. We note that these costs and benefits roughly mirror each other, suggesting that they may reflect the positive and negative sides of some fundamental aspects of CNM. Each of our themes also contains a rich range of elements that suggest avenues for future research. Our results suggest that CNM relationships are complex and multi-faceted, and that further research could fruitfully examine the circumstances that influence whether individuals experience their partners' other relationships positively or negatively.

Your Happiness Is My Happiness: Predicting Positive Feelings for a Partner's Consensual Extra-Dyadic Intimate Relations

This quantitative study tested hypotheses derived from a previous qualitative study of the factors that facilitated and hindered compersion (the positive feelings derived from one's partner's intimate relations with others) in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. A total of 255 participants recruited from online CNM and Alt-Sex communities reported on demographic and relationship characteristics as well as individual, relationship, and metamour-related variables in an online anonymous survey. In Flicker et al. (2022), we identified various factors that predicted three subtypes of compersion: contentment with one's partner's relationships with established metamours (intimate partners of one's partners), excitement sparked by one's partner's new/potentially new intimate connections, and sexual excitement elicited by thinking about one's partner with another person. The current findings were consistent with the Flicker et al. qualitative study, with some hypotheses from the previous study more strongly supported than others. The predictors of compersion most strongly supported by the current data include closeness with one's metamour and knowledge about the partner/metamour relationship, in a positive direction, as well as jealousy, envy, and attachment anxiety, in a negative direction. Individual-level predictors were weak predictors of compersion. The sexual arousal subtype of compersion was weakly endorsed by the current sample and predictors of this subtype were distinct from predictors of the other subtypes of compersion. The findings suggest that the development of new interventions that target reducing jealousy and envy and increasing attachment security within the unique context of CNM relationships could have the added benefit of increasing compersion. The development of these interventions stands to benefit a growing population of individuals involved in CNM relationships.

Factors that Facilitate and Hinder the Experience of Compersion Among Individuals in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships

Compersion refers to the positive feelings, such as joy, excitement and contentment, that one may experience in response to one's partner's other consensually non-monogamous (CNM) intimate relationship(s). In the study, we recruited 44 CNM participants who had experienced compersion to complete an open-ended online survey regarding the factors that facilitated and hindered their experiences of compersion. A thematic analysis identified three main themes: intrapersonal/individual factors, experiences in and characteristics of the relationship with one's partner(s), and feelings/judgments about one's metamour (one's partner's partner). The factors most commonly named by participants as facilitating compersion included: feelings of self-worth, feeling secure and that one's needs were being met in the relationship with the partner, communication with one's partner, and positive regard for one's metamour. Participants shared conflicting experiences regarding the nature of the relationship between jealousy and compersion and whether the ability to feel compersion was innate or learned. Findings were generally consistent with the small body of literature on this phenomenon. Several theories, including Broaden-and-Build, Self-Expansion, and Crossover, may help us understand the underpinnings of compersion and the pathways through which the experience might strengthen and deepen relationships. The study's results suggest multiple hypotheses ripe for future testing. Increasing our knowledge of this little known phenomenon carries the potential to help us identify strategies to manage jealousy and increase positive feelings across all relationship types.