Inviting Autonomy Back to the Table: The Importance of Autonomy for Healthy Relationship Functioning

Autonomy, or self-determination, is a key ingredient in promoting relationship flourishing. Although autonomy has long been an important concept in the family therapy field (labeled differentiation; Family therapy in clinical practice, 1978), definitional confusions and the ascendency of attachment theory and attachment-based clinical approaches to treating couples have relegated autonomy to a minor role at best and a caricature of rugged individualism and antirelational separateness at worst. Given recent research showing the importance of autonomy for the development of secure attachment in children and the key role autonomy plays in healthy intimate partner functioning, the concept of autonomy needs to take a more central role in our research and clinical practice with couples.

Let it go: Relationship autonomy predicts pro-relationship responses to partner transgressions

OBJECTIVE

The purpose of the present research is to better understand how relationship autonomy-having more self-determined reasons for being committed to a relationship-contributes to pro-relationship responses to transgressions in romantic relationships (e.g., forgiveness and accommodation).

METHOD

Study 1 employed a cross-sectional design (N = 350) and Study 2 used a weekly diary (N = 121) to test associations between relationship autonomy and pro-relationship responses to transgressions. Studies 3 and 4 utilized dyadic designs (Study 3: N = 200 couples, 400 individuals; Study 4: N = 275 couples, 550 individuals) to determine how both partners' relationship autonomy is associated with pro-relationship responses.

RESULTS

Results revealed that relationship autonomy is robustly associated with pro-relationship responses to transgressions, both as general tendencies and as responses to idiosyncratic transgressions. Results of actor-partner interdependence model (APIM) analyses in Studies 3 and 4 provide evidence that one's partner's relationship autonomy is important for promoting pro-relationship responses as well. Study 4 also found that people perceive that partners respond better to transgressions if their partner is high in relationship autonomy.

CONCLUSIONS

This research provides consistent and compelling evidence that the degree of self-determination underlying commitment is important for understanding how people respond to transgressions in their relationships, beyond their current levels of commitment.