Relationship Trajectories: A Meta-Theoretical Framework and Theoretical Applications

No gender differences in attraction to young partners: A study of 4500 blind dates

In mixed-gender couples, men are older than women on average. Scholars and laypeople presume that this arrangement reflects mirrored preferences such that men desire younger partners and women desire older partners. Nevertheless, relevant published data on in-person romantic evaluations-that is, studies where adults interact in person and report their initial attraction to each other-are nearly nonexistent. We examined the association of a partner's age with romantic desire (N = 9,084 dyadic reports) among N = 6,262 blind daters who used a matchmaking service in hopes of finding a long-term partner. Preregistered tests revealed that people were (slightly) attracted to younger partners on average-and this association did not differ by gender. Conclusions were identical if we examined a) age difference from one's own age, and b) a dataset limited to women 40-and-under and mixed-gender dates. Furthermore, participant's self-reported "upper-age limits" played no meaningful role: Participants had a modest preference for youth overall, but it did not matter whether the partner's age fell below or above this personal maximum. We discuss the implications of the nonexistent initial-attraction gender difference for the age difference in mixed-gender couples.

How Do People Feel About Mates?

Where do positive feelings about a romantic or sexual partner come from? This article offers an overview of-and imposes some structure on-the enormous literature on mate evaluation, from initial attraction to long-term relationship settings. First, we differentiate between research that identifies the factors that predict positive evaluation on average (i.e., normative desirability) and research that attempts to document for whom certain factors are more versus less positive (i.e., heterogeneity in desirability). Second, we review the positive biases that tend to dominate the evaluative process, as well as the promising (and sorely needed) new methods in this research space. Third, we cover contemporary perspectives on the mechanisms that explain how evaluations shift and change over the entire relationship arc. Fourth and finally, we discuss how diversifying the samples and perspectives in mate evaluation research will address novel and generative questions about culture, stigma, and socioeconomic status.

Minority Stress and Dyadic Stress in Same-Sex Couples: The Role of Dyadic Coping and Relationship Duration

Objectives

We investigated how internalized homonegativity and dyadic stress predicted relationship satisfaction in same-sex romantic relationships and explored the moderating roles of dyadic coping and relationship duration in the aforementioned associations.

Methods

The actor-partner interdependence moderation model (APIMoM) was introduced to deal with mutual influences between both partners in 241 same-sex romantic relationships.

Results

(1) individual internalized homonegativity, dyadic stress, and dyadic coping predict their own relationship satisfaction (i.e., actor effect); (2) individual dyadic stress predicts their partner's relationship satisfaction (i.e., partner effect), but only for those with a shorter relationship duration (i.e., ≤ 36 months); and (3) dyadic coping buffers the effect of individual dyadic stress on their own relationship satisfaction, but only for those in the group with a longer relationship durations (i.e., > 36 months).

Conclusions

These findings highlight the importance of a dyadic approach to further understand the impact of stress on relationship satisfaction. We reflect that interventions on couple-oriented coping could improve relationship well-being and sexual health among same-sex couples.

Postpartum romantic attachment and constructiveness: The protective effects of a conflict communication intervention for parents' relationship functioning over one year

Parent relationship functioning has a well-documented influence on children's early socioemotional development as early as infancy. Postpartum parenting is also a critically vulnerable period for relationships and often results in relationship decline. We investigated the effects of a rigorous, psycho-educational conflict communication intervention for supporting parents' relationship functioning in terms of self-reported romantic attachment and observed conflict constructiveness. Using latent growth curve models, we evaluated the change in romantic attachment and constructiveness among 202 mother-father couples from 6 to 18 months postpartum. We further tested a comparison of the effects of the Conflict Intervention (CI) versus the control group and the Conflict Intervention paired with an additional parent sensitivity intervention (anyCI) versus the control group. Results indicated romantic attachment and observed constructiveness decreased over the 1-year period; this decline was partially mitigated for fathers participating in the intervention(s), wherein fathers who received the Conflict Intervention showed less decline in observed conflict constructiveness over time. Moreover, compared with those in the control condition, mothers who received the Conflict Intervention reported lower attachment security at 18 months postpartum. These results underscore the importance of including perspectives from both mothers and fathers when investigating intervention effects and considering the impact of combining interventions for parents. RESEARCH HIGHLIGHTS: A randomized control trial of a conflict intervention including mothers and fathers demonstrates protective effects for fathers' constructiveness between 6 and 18 months postpartum but was not protective for mothers. Parenting experience, whether parents were transitioning to parenthood or had older children, did not significantly predict romantic attachment or behavioral constructiveness trajectories. Interparental romantic attachment and constructiveness declined only slightly postpartum. Effects of the intervention were reduced when the intervention was combined with a second intervention.

Initial compatibility during a "Speed-Dating" test predicts postpairing affiliation in titi monkeys (Plecturocebus cupreus)

Behavioral compatibility plays a critical role in shaping how potential mates interact with and evaluate each other and whether they choose to pursue a relationship. Compatibility is especially important for mate choice and relationship quality in pair-bonding species that form long-term attachments between mates. Although this process has been studied in humans and birds, relatively few studies have investigated it in non-human primates. In this study, we investigated whether pairing titi monkeys (Plecturocebus cupreus) based on initial compatibility increased postpairing affiliation between mates. Subjects were 12 unpaired adult titi monkeys (two cohorts of three males and three females). We determined each subject's initial interest in each opposite-sex potential mate in their cohort across a series of six 30-min interaction periods (i.e., "speed-dates"). To determine initial compatibility, we used the Social Relations Model to calculate relationship effects in initial interest (how much each subject uniquely preferred each potential mate beyond their own affiliative disposition and their partner's popularity). We then paired monkeys in a way that maximized net relationship effects between pairs, and measured longitudinal pair affiliation (Proximity, Contact, Tail Twining, and Combined Affiliation) for 6 months postpairing using daily scan-sample observations and monthly home-cage video recordings. Multilevel models showed that, on average, the six speed-dating pairs exhibited higher levels of Tail Twining (determined from scan-sample observations; β = 0.31) compared to a group of 13 age-matched colony pairs that were determined quasi-randomly without quantifying compatibility. The degree of initial compatibility within speed-dating pairs also predicted higher levels of Combined Affiliation (determined from video recordings) at earlier post-pairing time points, with the association peaking at 2 months postpairing (β = 0.57). These findings suggest that initial compatibility facilitates pair bonding in titi monkeys. We conclude by discussing how the speed-dating design can be used for colony management to inform pair-housing decisions.

What Happens in Initial Interactions Forecasts Relationship Development: Showcasing the Role of Social Behavior

We do not know what happens in initial interactions to spark platonic or romantic relationships. This requires data on relationships from their inception, tracked over time. Building on theory about relationship promotion, we identified three exemplar behaviors to test novel hypotheses about relationship development. When starting college, a greenhouse for relationship initiation, first-year undergraduates ( N = 143) reported initial interactions with potential friends and romantic partners, and then 129 of them reported back about those 591 people over the semester. As predicted, reports of each behavior—affectionate touch, shared laughter, and partner’s gratitude expression—were associated with immediate interest in affiliating with the new person, beyond their perceived warmth, competence, and attractiveness; theoretically derived social perceptual mechanisms explained these links. Critically, although not all potential connections blossomed into relationships, these behavioral precursors to relationship promotion predicted relationship development via post-interaction interest in affiliating. Findings are contextualized within attraction literature with implications for relationship development.

Romantic Duration, Relationship Quality, and Attachment Insecurity among Dating Couples

For many young adults today dating is not taken as a path to marriage, but as a relationship to be considered on its own terms with a beginning, middle, and end. Yet, research has not kept pace as most studies that look at relationships over time focus on marriages. In the present study, we look at individual differences and normative patterns of dating relationship quality over time. We tested a path model of associations between relationship duration, attachment insecurity, and four relationship quality domains (sexual frequency, commitment, satisfaction, and companionship) among a large sample of dating young adults (N = 1345). Based on a conceptual model of romantic relationship development, results supported expectations that dating trajectories are curvilinear, with unique patterns of accent, peak, and decent for each relationship domain. Dating duration also moderated the relationship between dating quality and attachment insecurity with anxious attachment becoming a more salient predictor of lower satisfaction and lower commitment in long-term versus short-term relationships. A quadratic interaction with sexual frequency indicated that insecurity predicted less sexual activity in new relationships, more activity among relationships between two and four years, but then less again in longer-term relationships. Findings suggest patterns of stability and change in dating relationships during emerging adulthood that complement those observed from the marriage literature.

The role of expectations for liking and other positive Affiliative outcomes in the get-acquainted process that occurs over Computer-mediated video communication

People often develop expectations prior to meeting someone for the first time. These pre-interaction expectations, which include how much they will like the other and how much they will enjoy the interaction, have likely increased because of information easily obtained about others through social media. What is not well understood is whether these expectations prior to a first meeting are associated with interpersonal evaluations formed during the get-acquainted interaction. In this study, pre-interaction expectations were collected from both members of 71 dyads. Then, after the dyads interacted through a structured self-disclosure task conducted over Skype, their reactions were assessed again. Several findings of the study have implications for people meeting for the first time, including over visual forms of computer-mediated communication (CMC). Findings included that pre-interaction expectations were associated with reactions after the interaction, a visual greeting with another before learning information about the other did not moderate the effect of that information on liking and other affiliative outcomes, and participants underestimated how much they were liked after the interaction. The implications of the findings are important because people are increasingly becoming acquainted through visual forms of CMC, which has been amplified during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Supplementary Information

The online version contains supplementary material available at 10.1007/s12144-021-01466-4.

Neuroimaging of human and non-human animal emotion and affect in the context of social relationships

Long-term relationships are essential for the psychological wellbeing of humans and many animals. Positive emotions and affective experiences (e.g., romantic or platonic love) seem to be closely related to the creation and maintenance of social bonds. When relationships are threatened or terminated, other emotions generally considered to be negative can arise (e.g., jealousy or loneliness). Because humans and animals share (to varying degrees) common evolutionary histories, researchers have attempted to explain the evolution of affect and emotion through the comparative approach. Now brain imaging techniques allow the comparison of the neurobiological substrates of affective states and emotion in human and animal brains using a common methodology. Here, we review brain imaging studies that feature emotions characterized by the context of social bonding. We compare imaging findings associated with affective and emotional states elicited by similar social situations between humans and animal models. We also highlight the role of key neurohormones (i.e., oxytocin, vasopressin, and dopamine) that jointly support the occurrence of socially contextualized emotions and affect across species. In doing so, we seek to explore and clarify if and how humans and animals might similarly experience social emotion and affect in the context of social relationships.

Predicting romantic interest during early relationship development: A preregistered investigation using machine learning

There are massive literatures on initial attraction and established relationships. But few studies capture early relationship development: the interstitial period in which people experience rising and falling romantic interest for partners who could—but often do not—become sexual or dating partners. In this study, 208 single participants reported on 1,065 potential romantic partners across 7,179 data points over 7 months. In stage 1, we used random forests (a type of machine learning) to estimate how well different classes of variables (e.g., individual differences vs. target-specific constructs) predicted participants’ romantic interest in these potential partners. We also tested (and found only modest support for) the perceiver × target moderation account of compatibility: the meta-theoretical perspective that some types of perceivers experience greater romantic interest for some types of targets. In stage 2, we used multilevel modeling to depict predictors retained by the random-forests models; robust (positive) main effects emerged for many variables, including sociosexuality, sex drive, perceptions of the partner’s positive attributes (e.g., attractive and exciting), attachment features (e.g., proximity seeking), and perceived interest. Finally, we found no support for ideal partner preference-matching effects on romantic interest. The discussion highlights the need for new models to explain the origin of romantic compatibility.

The Dyadic Health Influence Model

Relationship partners affect one another's health outcomes through their health behaviors, yet how this occurs is not well understood. To fill this gap, we present the Dyadic Health Influence Model (DHIM). The DHIM identifies three routes through which a person (the agent) can impact the health beliefs and behavior of their partner (the target). An agent may (a) model health behaviors and shape the shared environment, (b) enact behaviors that promote their relationship, and/or (c) employ strategies to intentionally influence the target's health behavior. A central premise of the DHIM is that agents act based on their beliefs about their partner's health and their relationship. In turn, their actions have consequences not only for targets' health behavior but also for their relationship. We review theoretical and empirical research that provides initial support for the routes and offer testable predictions at the intersection of health behavior change research and relationship science.

What is a pair bond?

Pair bonding is a psychological construct that we attempt to operationalize via behavioral and physiological measurements. Yet, pair bonding has been both defined differently in various taxonomic groups as well as used loosely to describe not just a psychological and affective phenomenon, but also a social structure or mating system (either social monogamy or just pair living). In this review, we ask the questions: What has been the historical definition of a pair bond? Has this definition differed across taxonomic groups? What behavioral evidence do we see of pair bonding in these groups? Does this observed evidence alter the definition of pair bonding? Does the observed neurobiology underlying these behaviors affect this definition as well? And finally, what are the upcoming directions in which the study of pair bonding needs to head?

The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance: Prevalent, Preferred, and Overlooked by Science

There is more than one pathway to romance, but relationship science does not reflect this reality. Our research reveals that relationship initiation studies published in popular journals (Study 1) and cited in popular textbooks (Study 2) overwhelmingly focus on romance that sparks between strangers and largely overlook romance that develops between friends. This limited focus might be justified if friends-first initiation was rare or undesirable, but our research reveals the opposite. In a meta-analysis of seven samples of university students and crowdsourced adults (Study 3; N = 1,897), two thirds reported friends-first initiation, and friends-first initiation was the preferred method of initiation among university students (Study 4). These studies affirm that friends-first initiation is a prevalent and preferred method of romantic relationship initiation that has been overlooked by relationship science. We discuss possible reasons for this oversight and consider the implications for dominant theories of relationship initiation.

Theoretical Boundary Conditions of Partner Buffering in Romantic Relationships

Attachment insecurity is consequential for both personal and relationship wellbeing. Some research has documented that partner buffering can downregulate insecure individuals' immediate feelings of distress, allowing them to feel more secure at least temporarily. The benefits of partner buffering, however, may be limited by several contextual factors. In this article, we identify boundary conditions that may curb or amplify the benefits of partner buffering for both targets (those who receive buffering) and agents (those who enact buffering). We suggest that motivation, ability, and timing may all affect partner buffering outcomes for targets and agents. If partner buffering is delivered in an adaptive way that does not reinforce the target's insecure tendencies, it may help insecure targets learn that they can trust and depend on their partners (agents), which may facilitate greater security in targets. We recommend that future research consider these contextual factors and examine partner buffering as an inherently dyadic relationship process capable of enhancing attachment security.

Step Out of Line: Modeling Nonlinear Effects and Dynamics in Close-Relationships Research

Despite widespread acknowledgment that close relationships frequently involve tumultuous and dynamic experiences, most models in relationship psychology focus on linear relationship processes. Modeling nonlinear patterns can, however, be an important way to assess and better understand the complexities inherent in close relationships. In this article, I draw on one of the most widely studied theories in relationship science—attachment theory—to illustrate how modeling nonlinear effects between variables (i.e., curvilinear effects) and nonlinear dynamics across time (i.e., within-person variation and within-dyad flexibility) can reconcile inconsistencies in the literature, reveal unique relationship experiences, and broaden our understanding of complex relationship processes.

Research on Marital Satisfaction and Stability in the 2010s: Challenging Conventional Wisdom

Although getting married is no longer a requirement for social acceptance, most people do marry in their lifetimes, and couples across the socioeconomic spectrum wish their marriages to be satisfying and long-lasting. This review evaluates the past decade of research on the determinants of satisfaction and stability in marriage, concluding that the scholarship of the past ten years has undermined three assumptions that were formerly accepted as conventional wisdom. First, research exploiting methods like latent class growth analyses reveal that, for most couples, marital satisfaction does not decline over time but in fact remains relatively stable for long periods. Second, contrary to predictions of behavioral models of marriage, negative communication between spouses can be difficult to change, does not necessarily lead to more satisfying relationships when it is changed, and does not always predict distress in the first place. Third, dyadic processes that are reliably adaptive for middle-class and more affluent couples may operate differently in lower-income couples, suggesting that influential models of marriage may not generalize to couples living in diverse environments. Thus, the accumulated research of the last ten years indicates that the tasks of understanding and promoting marital satisfaction and stability are more complex than we appreciated at the start of the decade, raising important questions that beg to be answered in the years ahead.

Beauty and the beast: Promotion concerns and the pursuit of physically attractive mates

OBJECTIVE

In the mating market, individuals differ in their aspirations to pursue opposite-sex mates who have a relatively higher (vs. similar) level of physical attractiveness. Few studies have explored how motivational concerns outside the mating domain can account for these individual differences in romantic aspiration. Based on regulatory focus theory, this research tested how broad concerns for promotion and prevention influence the aspiration and dating outcome.

METHOD

Four studies tested whether promotion concerns increase romantic aspiration and the chance to mate with a more physically attractive partner. The first three studies tested how promotion concerns, either measured (Studies 1a and 2) or manipulated (Study 1b), can influence romantic aspiration. Study 3 further tested how one's chronic promotion concerns are related to the physical attractiveness of the current partner (as rated by observers).

RESULTS

The first three studies supported the prediction that promotion concerns increase aspiration to pursue more physically attractive mates. The last study also found that, controlling for their own physical attractiveness, individuals with stronger promotion concerns tend to mate with physically attractive partners.

CONCLUSIONS

The results highlight the significant roles of broad motivational concerns in determining both aspiration and chance to date a more physically attractive partner.