Connection Heals Wounds: Feeling Listened to Reduces Speakers' Loneliness Following a Social Rejection Disclosure

How do people perceive listeners?

Listening is essential in shaping social interactions, relationships and communication. While listening research has generated significant insights on how speakers benefit from good listening, one fundamental question has been largely overlooked: how do people perceive listeners? This gap is crucial for understanding how perceptions of listeners impact relational dynamics. In three studies (two preregistered; total N = 1509), we assessed the attributes and behaviours associated with good and bad listeners, and whether the favourability of these attributes and behaviours impact downstream consequences. In Study 1, participants identified an acquaintance they judged as a good or bad listener. Good listeners were rated higher in positive listening attributes and behaviours, which mediated their perceived warmth, competence and values. Study 2 replicated this using a reverse correlation technique: one sample generated faces of a good or bad listener, which were then evaluated by a second, naïve sample. Consistent with Study 1, good listener faces were rated higher in positive listening attributes and behaviours, mediating perceptions of warmth, competence, humility and values. Study 3 extended Study 2 by showing that the effects were not due to a general positivity bias, demonstrating the significant interpersonal consequences of being perceived as a good or bad listener.

The effects of listening on speaker and listener while talking about character strengths: an open science school-wide collaboration

Listening is understood to be a foundational element in practices that rely on effective conversations, but there is a gap in our understanding of what the effects of high-quality listening are on both the speaker and listener. This registered report addressed this gap by training one group of participants to listen well as speakers discuss their character strengths, allowing us to isolate the role relational listening plays in strengths-based conversations. Participants were paired and randomly assigned to a high-quality listening (experimental) or moderate-quality listening (comparison) condition manipulated through a validated video-based training. High-quality listening predicted a more constructive relational experience; specifically, positivity resonance. Intrapersonal experiences (perceived authenticity and state anxiety) were not affected. Those who engaged in high-quality listening expressed a behavioural intention to continue listening, but condition did not predict a behavioural intention for speakers to continue applying character strengths. This is the first evidence of positivity resonance as a shared outcome between both a speaker and listener when the listener conveys high-quality (as opposed to 'everyday') listening. These early findings merit further study with stronger listening manipulations to explore the potential role of listening within interpersonal communication, and inform the applied psychological sciences (counselling, psychotherapy, coaching, organizational, education).

Responsive support: A matter of psychological need fulfillment

Skillful responsive support facilitates coping with stressors and overcoming challenges. We posit that support responsiveness is best understood through the prism of psychological need fulfillment and as varying along two dimensions. The horizontal dimension speaks to the specificity and breadth of support (i.e., which needs, and how many, are addressed by it, respectively). The vertical dimension speaks to the degree to which support is enacted, or perceived to be enacted, in ways that touch on self-coherence needs for meaning and identity, needs tied most strongly to recipients' core selves. Empathic identification of psychological needs and of their deeper structure, often achieved through good listening, is argued to be the key for effective responsive support.

Support provision in a digitalized world: The consequences of social sharing across different communication channels

People tend to share their emotional experiences with others, with sharing increasingly done online. This raises questions about the quality of computer-mediated vs. face-to-face sharing. The present review (1) outlines conditions for sharing to improve emotional and relational well-being, (2) discusses when computer-mediated sharing with other people may (not) be conducive to these conditions, and (3) reviews recent research on the effectiveness of computer-mediated sharing with humans and virtual agents. It is concluded that the emotional and relational consequences of sharing are dependent on the responsiveness of the listener, regardless of the communication channel. Differences exist, however, in the extent to which channels are conducive to various forms of responding, with implications for speakers' emotional and relational well-being.

Listening and the pursuit of communal relationships

Two motivations linked to developing and maintaining communal relationships include caring for others' welfare and striving to be viewed as a desirable communal relationship partner. We review evidence suggesting that both motivations promote high-quality listening. Furthermore, high-quality listening signals listeners' prosocial motivation and enhances the perceived relational value of both listeners and speakers. Thus, high-quality listening likely functions as an effective strategy in the formation and maintenance of communal relationships. This review suggests several directions for future research, including longitudinal research on the role of listening in relationship development, accuracy and bias in detecting and interpreting listening, the influence of conversation topic on listening, the role of people's beliefs about the usefulness of listening, and individual and relationship factors that determine people's motivations for listening.

The enticement of feeling understood, validated, and cared for: How does perceiving a partner as responsive affect the sexual arena?

Partners' behaviors outside the bedroom may spill over into the bedroom. One such behavior is responsiveness, as it creates a relationship ambiance conducive to the development of intimacy. In this article, I review research demonstrating how perceiving partners as responsive outside the bedroom affects the quality of sexual interactions, highlighting changes in the contextual meaning of partner responsiveness across individuals and relationship stages. I then provide an overview of the costs and benefits of responsiveness within the bedroom. I conclude by suggesting directions for future research on the potential of partner responsiveness for fostering a relationship environment that inoculates against alternative partners as well as for designing social robots and virtual mates for those in need of a surrogate partner.

Talking to strangers: Intention, competence, and opportunity

Despite having more opportunities than ever to connect with strangers, and much to gain from doing so, people often refrain from talking with, and listening to, strangers. We propose a framework that classifies obstacles to connecting with strangers into three categories concerning intention (underestimating the benefits of conversations), competence (misunderstanding how to appear likeable and competent in conversation), and opportunity (being constrained in access to a diverse set of strangers). To promote conversations among strangers, interventions have attempted to calibrate people's expectations, improve their communication, and create more opportunities for strangers to connect. We identify the need to better understand how miscalibrated beliefs emerge and are sustained, what contextual factors impact conversation likelihood, and how conversations evolve as relationships develop.

Attitudes in an interpersonal context: Psychological safety as a route to attitude change

Interpersonal contexts can be complex because they can involve two or more people who are interdependent, each of whom is pursuing both individual and shared goals. Interactions consist of individual and joint behaviors that evolve dynamically over time. Interactions are likely to affect people’s attitudes because the interpersonal context gives conversation partners a great deal of opportunity to intentionally or unintentionally influence each other. However, despite the importance of attitudes and attitude change in interpersonal interactions, this topic remains understudied. To shed light on the importance of this topic. We briefly review the features of interpersonal contexts and build a case that understanding people’s sense of psychological safety is key to understanding interpersonal influences on people’s attitudes. Specifically, feeling psychologically safe can make individuals more open-minded, increase reflective introspection, and decrease defensive processing. Psychological safety impacts how individuals think, make sense of their social world, and process attitude-relevant information. These processes can result in attitude change, even without any attempt at persuasion. We review the literature on interpersonal threats, receiving psychological safety, providing psychological safety, and interpersonal dynamics. We then detail the shortcomings of current approaches, highlight unanswered questions, and suggest avenues for future research that can contribute in developing this field.