On Creating Deeper Relationship Bonds: Felt Understanding Enhances Relationship Identification

Relational experiences play a critical role in shaping how individuals see themselves. In four studies (N=945) using person-perception, longitudinal, and experimental designs, we demonstrate that feeling understood changes individuals' self-concept by increasing the centrality of a specific relationship (relationship identification). Study 1 showed that participants perceived an individual to be more identified with their relationship when their partner was high (vs. low) in understanding. Study 2 extended these results by examining individuals in romantic relationships longitudinally. The results of Studies 1 and 2 were distinct for understanding compared to acceptance and caring. Studies 3 and 4 manipulated felt understanding. Recalling many versus few understanding instances (Study 3) and imagining a close other being low versus high in understanding (Study 4) led individuals to feel less understood, which reduced identification in their friendships and romantic relationships. Furthermore, Study 4 suggests that coherence may be one mechanism through which felt understanding increases relationship identification.

Do People Know How Their Romantic Partner Views Their Emotions? Evidence for Emotion Meta-Accuray and Links with Momentary Romantic Relationship Quality

Do people know how their romantic partner (i.e., the perceiver) views the self's (i.e., the metaperceiver's) emotions, displaying emotion meta-accuracy? Is it relevant to relationship quality? Using a sample of romantic couples (N_couples = 189), we found evidence for two types of emotion meta-accuracy across three different interactions: (a) normative emotion meta-accuracy, knowing perceivers' impressions of metaperceivers' emotions that are in line with how the average person may feel, and (b) distinctive emotion meta-accuracy, knowing perceivers' unique impression of metaperceivers' emotions. Furthermore, across interactions, normative emotion meta-accuracy was positively related to momentary relationship quality for metaperceivers and perceivers and this link was especially strong in the conflict interaction. Distinctive emotion meta-accuracy was negatively related to momentary relationship quality across interactions for perceivers and in the conflict interaction for metaperceivers. Overall, it may be adaptive for metaperceivers to accurately infer perceivers' normative impressions and to remain blissfully unaware of their unique impressions.

Interested and Instrumental: An Examination of Instrumentality Regulation With Potential Romantic Partners

Instrumentality-the extent to which one facilitates another person's goal progress-has been described as the Rosetta Stone of attraction, and promotes closeness in ongoing relationships. Yet prior work has not examined whether people might regulate their instrumentality in contexts in which they desire (vs. do not desire) attraction or closeness with others. Four studies, employing imagined online scenario and in-lab experimental paradigms, examined whether people strive to be more instrumental to potential romantic partners (targets) under conditions that lead them to be more (vs. less) romantically interested in those targets. Single participants were more romantically interested in romantically available versus unavailable targets, which in turn, was associated with greater willingness to be instrumental. Results for romantically involved participants were less consistent. Implications and future directions are discussed.

Put Me in Your Shoes: Does Perspective-Taking Inoculate Against the Appeal of Alternative Partners?

People commit to monogamous relationships with the intent of maintaining sexual exclusivity but often fail to do so. Existing research has focused on individual and relationship characteristics that render relationships more vulnerable to infidelity, paying less attention to strategies that decrease the likelihood of straying. Three experiments investigated the impact of one strategy that might encourage people to enact relationship-protective responses toward alternative partners, perspective-taking. In all studies, participants either adopted the perspective of their partner or not and then evaluated, encountered, or thought about attractive strangers, in Studies 1-3, respectively. Participants' pro-relationship orientation and reactions during these experiences (interest in alternative and current partners, commitment to current relationships, and fantasmatic themes) were recorded. Results showed that perspective-taking decreased sexual and romantic interest in alternatives, while increasing commitment and desire for current partners. These findings suggest that partner perspective-taking discourages engagement in behaviors that may hurt partners and damage the relationship with them.

Is Infidelity Contagious? Online Exposure to Norms of Adultery and Its Effect on Expressions of Desire for Current and Alternative Partners

Research exploring the determinants of infidelity has mainly focused on individual and relationship characteristics that render relationships vulnerable, paying less attention to the external circumstances that increase the likelihood of straying. The present research examined whether online exposure to norms of adultery would affect expressions of desire for alternative mates. In three studies, romantically involved participants were exposed to others' cheating behavior and then thought of or encountered attractive strangers. Their relationship perceptions and reactions during these experiences (fantasmatic themes, expressed interest in alternative partners, and overt flirtation with them in Studies 1-3, respectively) were recorded. Results showed that following exposure to others' cheating behavior, participants were less likely to devalue the attractiveness of alternative partners and to be committed to their relationship. These findings suggest that exposure to adultery norms decreases the awareness of long-term priorities of relationship maintenance, lessening the resistance to the temptation of attractive alternatives.

Neural Processing of Facial Attractiveness and Romantic Love: An Overview and Suggestions for Future Empirical Studies

Romantic love is universally observed in human communities, and the manner in which a person chooses a long-term romantic partner has been a central question in studies on close relationships. Numerous empirical psychological studies have demonstrated that facial attractiveness greatly impacts initial romantic attraction. This close link was further investigated by neuroimaging studies showing that both viewing attractive faces and having romantic thoughts recruit the reward system. However, it remains unclear how our brains integrate perceived facial attractiveness into initial romantic attraction. In addition, it remains unclear how our brains shape a persistent attraction to a particular person through interactions; this persistent attraction is hypothesized to contribute to a long-term relationship. After reviewing related studies, I introduce methodologies that could help address these questions.

How to Expand and Fill the Self in Organizations: The Role of Interpersonal Processes in the Employee Organizational Identity Construction

In the era of Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity (VUCA), the fluidity of organizations and the variability of individual work gradually replace the traditional stability and continuity. The question of how to connect employees and organizations has long intrigued researchers and practitioners. Employee organizational identity is the stable force that binds employees to organizations. Drawing on social identity theory, we argue the role of interpersonal processes in the employee organizational identity construction. We suggest that an employee’s relationship-building behaviors can promote employee organizational identity through the connected self. The indirect effect is stronger for employees who make more social comparisons because they are more sensitive to social influence. We collected data through questionnaires of 333 employees using a two-wave research design in China. The results indicate that an employee’s relationship-building behaviors enhance employee organizational identity. The connected self fully mediates the positive relationship between relationship-building and employee organizational identity. The outcomes also show that the positive effect of relationship-building toward connected self is intensified, when an employee engages in more social comparisons. The findings imply that interpersonal processes play an important role in the employee organizational identity construction. Then, the theoretical and practical implications are discussed.

Prioritization of personally relevant stimuli in male abstinent heroin users

The prioritization of the processing of highly relevant personal stimuli pervades various cognitive domains and is vital to our survival and normal functioning. However, the extent to which this process is altered by drug addiction remains to be elucidated. The present study examined the self-prioritization effect in abstinent heroin users (AHUs) using the perceptual matching task, which controls for the confounding effect of familiarity, and further modified it to revalidate the drug-prioritization effect (DPE). Eighty male AHUs and forty healthy control (HC) participants were recruited for this study. Participants filled in the questionnaire and completed two perceptual matching tasks. The questionnaire included demographic information (e.g., age, education) and characteristics of drug use, whereas the HC participants only completed the demographic information. AHUs exhibited a robust self-advantage in the self-perceptual matching task, and that the magnitude of the self-prioritization effect (MSPE) was comparable to that in HCs. Only AHUs prioritized the processing of drug-related stimuli in the drug-perceptual matching task, and showed similar prioritization effects during self- and drug-related processing. The MSPE and magnitude of the drug-prioritization effect (MDPE) were correlated with the heroin consumption behavior in AHUs. The process of self-prioritization is intact in drug users, and they uniquely prioritize the processing of drug cues. The similar pattern between the self- and drug-related processing provided behavioral evidence to support that drug cues are likely to be associated with heightened personal relevance in drug users. These prioritization processes may play critical roles in addiction and provide a promising route for intervention.

Communicating Commitment: A Relationship-Protection Account of Dyadic Displays on Social Media

People often make their romantic relationships visible to others through dyadic displays (DDs). Yet, their reasons for doing so are not well-understood. We proposed and tested a relationship-protection account of DD use, focusing on a social media environment. We predicted that relationship-protection motivation would predict DDs and that DDs would serve a relationship-protective function. In Study 1, a correlational study of romantically involved Facebook users, relationship-protection motivation positively predicted DD use on Facebook even when controlling for feelings of interconnectedness. Relationship-protection motivation also mediated effects of relationship satisfaction and commitment on DD use. In Study 2, participants perceived a target whose Facebook profile we experimentally manipulated to include DDs (vs. not) as more likely to be in a high-quality relationship and less receptive to romantic advances from others, with implications for participants' interest in affiliating with the target. Our findings support a relationship-protection account of DD use on social media.

Romantic Love and Attentional Biases Toward Attractive Alternatives and Rivals: Long-Term Relationship Maintenance Among Female Chinese College Students

Studies about heterosexual individuals' long-term relationship maintenance have indicated that committed individuals possess evolved psychological mechanisms that help protect their ongoing romantic relationships against threats from attractive others during early stage attentional processing when mating-related motivation is activated. In this study, two experiments tested the relationship maintenance mechanism among committed female college students in the Chinese cultural context under different love priming conditions. Committed Chinese women displayed inattention to attractive alternatives in positive love-scenario priming (Study 1: 114 female undergraduates, age range = 18-26 years), subliminal semantic love priming (Study 2: 110 female undergraduates, age range = 18-25 years), and baseline conditions (Studies 1 and 2). Those with high levels of chronic jealousy showed significantly increased attention to and difficulty disengaging attention from attractive rivals when subliminally primed with love. This provides further evidence, from an Eastern cultural context, for the existence of attentional biases toward attractive alternatives and rivals in early stage attentional processes for relationship maintenance. This research also illustrates the important role of romantic love in maintaining long-term romantic relationships.

Differentiation of Self and Dyadic Adjustment in Couple Relationships: A Dyadic Analysis Using the Actor-Partner Interdependence Model

Bowen's multigenerational theory provides an account of how the internalization of experiences within the family of origin promotes development of the ability to maintain a distinct self whilst also making intimate connections with others. Differentiated people can maintain their I-position in intimate relationships. They can remain calm in conflictual relationships, resolve relational problems effectively, and reach compromises. Fusion with others, emotional cut-off, and emotional reactivity instead are common reactions to relational stress in undifferentiated people. Emotional reactivity is the tendency to react to stressors with irrational and intense emotional arousal. Fusion with others is an excessive emotional involvement in significant relationships, whilst emotional cut-off is the tendency to manage relationship anxiety through physical and emotional distance. This study is based on Bowen's theory, starting from the assumption that dyadic adjustment can be affected both by a member's differentiation of self (actor effect) and by his or her partner's differentiation of self (partner effect). We used the Actor-Partner Interdependence Model to study the relationship between differentiation of self and dyadic adjustment in a convenience sample of 137 heterosexual Italian couples (nonindependent, dyadic data). The couples completed the Differentiation of Self Inventory and the Dyadic Adjustment Scale. Men's dyadic adjustment depended only on their personal I-position, whereas women's dyadic adjustment was affected by their personal I-position and emotional cut-off as well as by their partner's I-position and emotional cut-off. The empirical and clinical implications of the results are discussed.

A People-as-Means Approach to Interpersonal Relationships

Interpersonal relationships and goal pursuit are intimately interconnected. In the present article, we present a people-as-means perspective on relationships. According to this perspective, people serve as means to goals-helping other people to reach their goals in a variety of ways, such as by contributing their time; lending their knowledge, skills, and resources; and providing emotional support and encouragement. Because people serve as means to goals, we propose that considering relationship processes in terms of the principles of goal pursuit can provide novel and important insights into the ways that people think, feel, and behave in these interpersonal contexts. We describe the principles of means-goals relations, review evidence for each principle involving people as means, and discuss implications of our approach for relationship formation, maintenance, and dissolution.

Executive control and faithfulness: only long-term romantic relationships require prefrontal control

Individuals in the early stages of a romantic relationship generally express intense passionate love toward their partners. This observation allows us to hypothesize that the regulation of interest in extra-pair relationships by executive control, which is supported by the function of the prefrontal cortex, is less required in individuals in the early stages of a relationship than it is in those who are in a long-term relationship. To test this hypothesis, we asked male participants in romantic relationships to perform a go/no-go task during functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), which is a well-validated task that can measure right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex (VLPFC) activity implicated in executive control. Subsequently, the participants engaged in a date-rating task in which they rated how much they wanted to date unfamiliar females. We found that individuals with higher right VLPFC activity better regulated their interest in dates with unfamiliar females. Importantly, this relationship was found only in individuals with long-term partners, but not in those with short-term partners, indicating that the active regulation of interest in extra-pair relationships is required only in individuals in a long-term relationship. Our findings extend previous findings on executive control in the maintenance of monogamous relationships by highlighting the role of the VLPFC, which varies according to the stage of the romantic relationship.

Epistemic companions: shared reality development in close relationships

We propose a framework outlining the development of shared reality in close relationships. In this framework, we attempt to integrate disparate close relationship phenomena under the conceptual umbrella of shared reality. We argue that jointly satisfying epistemic needs-making sense of the world together-plays an important but under-appreciated role in establishing and maintaining close relationships. Specifically, we propose that dyads progress through four cumulative phases in which new forms of shared reality emerge. Relationships are often initiated when people discover Shared Feelings, which then facilitate the co-construction of dyad-specific Shared Practices. Partners then form an interdependent web of Shared Coordination and ultimately develop a Shared Identity. Each emergent form of shared reality continues to evolve throughout subsequent phases, and, if neglected, can engender relationship dissolution.

On the Nature of Objectification: Implications of Considering People as Means to Goals

People are objectified when they are treated as a means to a goal. The most common example is when women are sexually objectified and reduced to their physical appearance, sexuality, or individual body parts. In such instances, people are used in the same way as objects and are evaluated according to their instrumentality to the others' goals. The aim of this paper is to gain a better understanding of objectification. We will (a) outline basic principles of means-goal relations during goal pursuit, (b) review research in which people are means to goals, (c) explain objectification according to a means-goal psychology in which people serve as means to goals, and (d) explain the implications of our account for the consequences of objectification. Specifically, we argue objectification is inevitable and that the consequences of objectification, including its morality, depend on the goal to which a person serves and whether the objectified person wants to serve that goal.

Being Your Actual or Ideal Self? What It Means to Feel Authentic in a Relationship

Relational authenticity—which refers to subjective feelings of authenticity in a specific relationship—confers well-being; yet little is known about what gives rise to it. The present research tested competing hypotheses about the basis of relational authenticity, whether it arises from being one’s actual self in a relationship (actual–relational selves overlap), ideal self (relational–ideal selves overlap), or both. A pilot study examined lay beliefs about the basis of relational authenticity. Study 1 then showed that relational–ideal, but not actual–relational, overlap predicts relational authenticity. The remaining studies experimentally manipulated relational–ideal overlap, and showed that low overlap reduced relational authenticity compared with a control condition (Study 2), with varying actual–relational overlap (Study 3), and with varying actual–ideal overlap (Study 4). Several alternative accounts (e.g., negative general relationship perceptions) were addressed. We conclude that relational authenticity emanates largely from being one’s ideal self in the relevant relationship, and discuss implications and future directions.

Relational Motives Reduce Attentional Adhesion to Attractive Alternatives in Heterosexual University Students in China

In heterosexual individuals, attention is automatically captured by physically attractive members of the opposite sex. Although helpful for selecting new mates, attention to attractive relationship alternatives can threaten satisfaction with and commitment to an existing romantic relationship. The current study tested the hypothesis that although a mating prime would increase selective attention to attractive opposite-sex targets (relative to less attractive targets) among single participants, this effect would be reduced among people already committed to a long-term romantic partner. Consistent with hypotheses, whereas single participants responded to a mating prime with greater attentional adhesion to physically attractive opposite-sex targets (relative to less attractive targets), participants in a committed romantic relationship showed no such effect. These findings extend previous research suggesting the presence of relationship maintenance mechanisms that operate at early stages of social cognition.

Daily Experiences and Relationship Well-Being: The Paradoxical Effects of Relationship Identification

OBJECTIVE

Even couples in healthy romantic relationships experience conflict at times. We examine whether relationship identification (the extent to which the relationship is incorporated into the self) predicts immediate reactivity to partner transgressions and also promotes global resilience over time.

METHOD

Sixty-three couples participated in a 2-week event-contingent diary study.

RESULTS

On a daily basis, experiencing more partner transgressions than usual predicted decreases in relationship well-being and increases in negative affect. This within-person association was stronger for those high in relationship identification. However, after 2 weeks, changes in global relationship evaluations of low identifiers, but not of high identifiers, were contingent on the accumulation of partner transgressions and the degree of negative affect in response to these daily transgressions.

CONCLUSIONS

This study suggests that internalizing a relationship into the self does not blind intimates to immediate negative events but rather provides a basis for their global relationship evaluations that is not contingent on recent events.

When People Serve as Means to Goals

Goal pursuit is almost always conducted in concert with helpful others. People serve as instrumental means to goals, and evaluations of people are shaped by their perceived instrumentality. Assistance from another person may elicit feelings of relationship satisfaction and commitment. Assisting others in their goal pursuit is also gratifying. We present a novel goal-systemic perspective on close relationships. Our analysis suggests that satisfying relationships are achieved when partners experience mutual perceived instrumentality—when each partner feels instrumental to his or her partner’s important goals and perceives the partner as instrumental to his or her important goals. Considering relationship partners as means to goals has important implications for relationship processes including attraction, relationship maintenance, and relationship dissolution.

Compensatory Relationship Enhancement

The motivation-management model suggests that people are equipped with a variety of motivated strategies to mitigate against relationship threats such as conflicts of interests and partner transgressions. We propose that such strategies are more likely to be enacted when the nature of the threat is calibrated with the motivational basis for relationship maintenance. We examine how value dissimilarity may pose an identity threat that triggers reaffirming and bolstering one’s positive views of the partner and the relationship, namely, compensatory relationship enhancement. We experimentally manipulated feedback to dating couples about value similarity regarding a possible pregnancy decision (similar vs. control vs. dissimilar) and assessed relationship evaluations pre- and postmanipulation. Using multilevel modeling, we found that individuals highly identified with their relationship increased their baseline positive relationship evaluations in response to the threat of value dissimilarity.

Attentional Biases toward Attractive Alternatives and Rivals: Mechanisms Involved in Relationship Maintenance among Chinese Women

A long-term romantic relationship can offer many benefits to committed individuals. Thus, humans possess relationship maintenance mechanisms to protect against threats from those who serve as attractive alternatives or intrasexual rivals. Many studies have indicated that romantic love can act as a commitment device to activate these mechanisms. To examine the attentional bias associated with relationship maintenance among 108 college students (49 single and 59 committed females) in China, we used a semantic priming procedure to activate mental representations associated with romantic love and then asked participants to complete a dot-probe task for the purpose of making a distinction between the engage and disengage components of attention. No significant engaging effects toward attractive faces were observed among committed females, but the following significant disengaging effects were found: when primed with romantic love, single females showed increased attention toward and difficulty in disengaging from attractive male faces, whereas females already in a committed relationship did not alter their attention, remaining as inattentive to attractive alternatives as they were in the baseline condition. In addition, committed females responded to love priming by exhibiting difficulty in disengaging from attractive rivals. The present findings provide evidence in the Chinese cultural context for the existence of early-stage attentional processes in the domain of relationship maintenance that committed Chinese females protected an ongoing relationship by not only being inattentive to attractive males who could serve as attractive alternatives, but also being more attentive to attractive females who could be potential rivals when mental representations associated with romantic love were primed.

Self-Determination Theory and Romantic Relationship Processes

Self-determination theory can be viewed as a theory of optimal relationship development and functioning. We examine the concept of self that is employed in self-determination theory and explain how its unique definition allows an important and novel characterization of investing one’s “self” in romantic relationships. A self-determined perspective on romantic relationships integrates several theories on romantic relationship development, but also goes beyond them by explicitly articulating the personality, developmental, and situational factors that facilitate optimal self-investment and relational functioning. Self-determination promotes openness rather than defensiveness and facilitates perspective-taking, authenticity, and support of close others. The dyadic context of romantic relationships affords great opportunity for theoretical development and integration of self-determination theory with current theories of interdependence and relational well-being.

Does power help or hurt? The moderating role of self-other focus on power and perspective-taking in romantic relationships

Reconciling competing viewpoints suggesting that power helps and hurts perspective-taking in close relationships, in two experiments and two daily experience studies we tested the hypothesis that power's effect on perspective-taking depends on the extent to which people are relatively self-versus other-focused. In Study 1, recalling a time of high (vs. low) power over a romantic partner reduced inclinations to take the partner's perspective for relatively self-focused but not other-focused individuals. Studies 2 and 3 replicated Study 1 using daily variations in power and perspective-taking. In Study 4, being the "in-charge" partner during a conflict conversation reduced empathic accuracy for more self-focused individuals. Self-other focus was assessed with measures of gratitude, relational self-construal, and social value orientation. The current findings provide evidence that, particularly for the more self-focused, relationship power influences people's inclinations to take their romantic partner's perspective in daily life as well as their empathic accuracy during conflict.