"How did you stay together so long?" Relationship longevity, a cross-generational qualitative study

This global qualitative study adopted a cross-generational approach considering key factors contributing to relationship longevity. Relatively few studies consider factors leading to relationship longevity as articulated by couples themselves, and there is a paucity of research considering young couples' questions regarding relationship longevity. This study has two sample groups. In sample one (n = 137) we asked individuals in relationship of 3-15 years questions they would ask couples in marriages of 40+ years. We then asked our second sample of coupled individuals married 40+ years (n = 180) these questions. The primary question from the younger couples to couples in long-term marriages regarded their "secret" to relationship longevity. This study focuses on this one question and coupled individuals' self-articulation of their "secrets" to relationship longevity. The top seven were (1) commitment, (2) altruism, (3) shared values, (4) good communication, (5) compromise: give and take, (6) love, and (7) never give up. The clinical implications for couple therapists are discussed.

Examining the Sexual Double Standards and Hypocrisy in Partner Suitability Appraisals Within a Norwegian Sample

Sexual double standards are social norms that impose greater social opprobrium on women versus men or that permit one sex greater sexual freedom than the other. This study examined sexual double standards when choosing a mate based on their sexual history. Using a novel approach, participants (N = 923, 64% women) were randomly assigned to make evaluations in long-term or short-term mating contexts and asked how a prospective partner's sexual history would influence their own likelihood of having sex (short-term) or entering a relationship (long-term) with them. They were then asked how the same factors would influence the appraisal they would make of male and female friends in a similar position. We found no evidence of traditional sexual double standards for promiscuous or sexually undesirable behavior. There was some evidence for small sexual double standard for self-stimulation, but this was in the opposite direction to that predicted. There was greater evidence for sexual hypocrisy as sexual history tended to have a greater negative impact on suitor assessments for the self rather than for same-sex friends. Sexual hypocrisy effects were more prominent in women, though the direction of the effects was the same for both sexes. Overall, men were more positive about women's self-stimulation than women wee, particularly in short-term contexts. Socially undesirable sexual behavior (unfaithfulness, mate poaching, and jealous/controlling) had a large negative impact on appraisals of a potential suitor across all contexts and for both sexes. Effects of religiosity, disgust, sociosexuality, and question order effects are considered.

Strategically Funny: Romantic Motives Affect Humor Style in Relationship Initiation

Not all humor is the same, yet little is known about the appeal of specific humor styles in romantic initiation. The current experimental study addresses this gap by investigating how romantic motives (short-term or long-term) affect individuals' anticipated use of, and response to, positive humor and negative humor. Heterosexual participants (n = 224) imagined the pursuit of either a desired short-term or long-term relationship, indicated the extent to which they would produce positive and negative humor, and reported how their own interest would change in response to the imaginary target's use of positive or negative humor. Results revealed that individuals are strategic in their humor production as a function of relational motives. Individuals produced positive humor in both contexts but limited their use of negative humor when pursuing a long-term relationship. The target's positive humor increased individuals' attraction, especially women's, and although negative humor boosted attraction, it did not boost attraction more for short-term than long-term relationships. Findings extend a trait-indicator model of humor and their implications are discussed in light of other theoretical perspectives.